Friday, February 02, 2007
HI PPL..
wanted to study for geog and science test comig up...
then received this exremely freaky sms that put me off studying...
worse thing: jus when ui was about toreply..
my DARLING mother took my phone away, cos she sad i was studying...
made me lose even more concentrarion.
so wat did i do???
start reading HOLES by louis sachar.
as stanley digged the hole,
that sms would float up into my head, haunting me as if i had done something wrong by not replying immediately .
how was i toknow that my mum wuld walk in to my rom jus when i was about to reply sms???
moreover, it is the sms...
throughout the whole night she kept asking me ho i was corresponding.
how am i supposed to reply???
"your boyfriend ah?"
sometimes i really wanted to say yes..
but still...
if its a secret, why should i tell??? my mum of all persons?
i knowshe is concerned for me..
she wants to help me.
but i have my own social life to live..
it is not something i wanna tell then can tell...
it concerns more than jus me...
it concerns everyone who knew...
moreover... it concerns my relationship.
if i tell her... things will turn bad...
why must she keep asking me who i am smsing???
JUS LEAVE ME ALONE!
it is my life. i havea right to control it.
everytime i lie it s someone else, i feel very guilty.
i have never kept secrets from my mum...
but its like lately
to cover up my life, lies has come over me like a torrent of waves.
i know many dun understand how i feel...
i am like happy always...
but when i am alone i feel very worried...
for what i do not know.
its just this creepy starnge hard feeling that i dun understand...
if wat the sms said is true..
my whole life will change.
this yr is my life of changes.
my dad's retiring.
my mum may be starting to work again.
i feel someone has taken over me... empowering my feelings.
i've changed alot since i started at cedar...
it has changed me alot...
but these changes will affect my whole life.
i know nobody will know how i feel...
their parents work anyway, so nobody knows.
being with people makes me happy.
when i m alone, i feel very alone.
it is a not something everyone feels, so i understand if u dun.
going out with a guy alone is something my mum will never ever allow.
even if i beg her, she will not allow it.
SO WHAT IF I WANT TO???
nobody understands me la.
i try.
i try to be the best in everyti=hing.
in all my maths classes, in school....
its tough... but i can tell u i do this for myself.
i do not like incentives.
especially you stupid jackpot mr chua!
i do werll for myself.
not for u.
i know i haven been emo on blogposts alot lately.
but this is for u to see.
i am not always happy.
even if u think i am.
i know u try as well.
and i thank u for it.
i thank u for trying to understand me.
but sometimes u jus dun.
i apologise if i hurt your feelings.
i'm sorry.
wanted to study for geog and science test comig up...
then received this exremely freaky sms that put me off studying...
worse thing: jus when ui was about toreply..
my DARLING mother took my phone away, cos she sad i was studying...
made me lose even more concentrarion.
so wat did i do???
start reading HOLES by louis sachar.
as stanley digged the hole,
that sms would float up into my head, haunting me as if i had done something wrong by not replying immediately .
how was i toknow that my mum wuld walk in to my rom jus when i was about to reply sms???
moreover, it is the sms...
throughout the whole night she kept asking me ho i was corresponding.
how am i supposed to reply???
"your boyfriend ah?"
sometimes i really wanted to say yes..
but still...
if its a secret, why should i tell??? my mum of all persons?
i knowshe is concerned for me..
she wants to help me.
but i have my own social life to live..
it is not something i wanna tell then can tell...
it concerns more than jus me...
it concerns everyone who knew...
moreover... it concerns my relationship.
if i tell her... things will turn bad...
why must she keep asking me who i am smsing???
JUS LEAVE ME ALONE!
it is my life. i havea right to control it.
everytime i lie it s someone else, i feel very guilty.
i have never kept secrets from my mum...
but its like lately
to cover up my life, lies has come over me like a torrent of waves.
i know many dun understand how i feel...
i am like happy always...
but when i am alone i feel very worried...
for what i do not know.
its just this creepy starnge hard feeling that i dun understand...
if wat the sms said is true..
my whole life will change.
this yr is my life of changes.
my dad's retiring.
my mum may be starting to work again.
i feel someone has taken over me... empowering my feelings.
i've changed alot since i started at cedar...
it has changed me alot...
but these changes will affect my whole life.
i know nobody will know how i feel...
their parents work anyway, so nobody knows.
being with people makes me happy.
when i m alone, i feel very alone.
it is a not something everyone feels, so i understand if u dun.
going out with a guy alone is something my mum will never ever allow.
even if i beg her, she will not allow it.
SO WHAT IF I WANT TO???
nobody understands me la.
i try.
i try to be the best in everyti=hing.
in all my maths classes, in school....
its tough... but i can tell u i do this for myself.
i do not like incentives.
especially you stupid jackpot mr chua!
i do werll for myself.
not for u.
i know i haven been emo on blogposts alot lately.
but this is for u to see.
i am not always happy.
even if u think i am.
i know u try as well.
and i thank u for it.
i thank u for trying to understand me.
but sometimes u jus dun.
i apologise if i hurt your feelings.
i'm sorry.
what did i do so wrong that you had to leave me alone ... at 2/02/2007
0 people in the crowd heard my words
0 people in the crowd heard my words